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Dr Seuss’ Lorax remains one of the most powerful works re the implications of placing “environment vs economy” rather than understanding how they are intrinsically combined along with a powerful indictment of placing economy over environment in terms of the devastating implications for health, quality of life, and other issues.

Here is the clearest summary of what resulted in Copenhagen seen to date:

No-one was satisfied, nobody won
Except the morons convinced it was really the sun

With this powerful tradition in mind, “Marcus Brigstocke sees Copenhagen through the eyes of Dr Seuss” at the BBC’s Now Show.

Brigstocke concludes as one might best describe COP15 as having concluded: kicking the can down the road yet

And decided decisively right there and then
That the best way to solve it’s to meet up again

And decide on a future that’s greener and greater
Not with action right now but with something else later

The road is running out, however, for the island nations and all of us to avoid the implications of catastrophic climate chaos.

Full text after the fold.

The delegates came and the delegates sat
And they talked and they talked till their bums all went flat

Then a delegate said of the country he knew
“We must do something quick but just what should we do

So they sat again thinking and there they stayed seated
Sitting and thinking “the planet’s been heated”

“I think” said a delegate there from Peru
“That we all must agree on some things we could do
Like reducing emissions at least CO2”

So they nodded and noted then vetoed and voted
And one of them stood up and suddenly quoted

“It’s the science you see, that’s the thing that must guide us
When the leaders all get here they’re certain to chide us”

So they sat again thinking about what to think
Then decided to ponder what colour of ink

To use on the paper when they’d all agreed
To be selfless not greedy McGreedy McGreed

“But how do we choose just what colour to use”
Said a delegate there who’d been having a snooze

“We need clear binding targets definitive action
We must all agree clearly without more distraction”

So they sat again thinking of targets for ink
But the ink in their thinking had started to stink

And they started to think that the ink was a kink
In the thinking about real things they should think

“If ze climate needs mending then zis is our chance”
Said the nuclear delegate sent there by France

“We need to agree on one thing to agree on
Something we all want a fixed guarantee on”

“Yes” said another who thought this made sense
Some value for carbon in dollars or pence

But the mention of money and thoughts of expense
Had stifled the progress and things became tense

The fella from China with a smile on his face
Said “Who put the carbon there in the first place”

“Wasn’t us” said the U.S then Europe did too

Then a silence descended and no words were spoken
Till a delegate stood up, voice nervous and broken

“Is there nothing upon which we all can decide
Because on Wednesday my chicken laid eggs that were fried”

“We all like a sing song” said the bloke from Down Under
But then the great hall was all shouting and thunder

Policemen had entered and were wearing protesters
Who they’d beaten and flattened like bloodied sou’westers

The police had decided to downplay this crime
With prevention detention and beatings in rhyme

The Greenies who’d shouted and asked for a decision
Were now being battered with lethal precision

All sick of inaction and fed up of waiting
All tired of the endless debated placating

They’d risen up grating berating and hating
So the police had commenced the related abating

Ban Ki-moon put his head in another man’s lap
And was last heard muttering something like “crap”

But the chap next to him said “It’s more like it’s poo”
So the great hall debated not what they should do
But how to decide between crap cack and poo

“It is poo” “It is cack” “It is crap” “We agree”
Which was written and labelled as document three

“I think if we all find one thing we agree on
Then maybe Brazil might be left with a tree on”

So they sat again thinking of trees and Brazil
And of glaciers which had retreated uphill

And they thought of the poor folks whose homes were in flood
But less of the protesters covered in blood

They pondered the species so nearly extinct
It’s as if they all thought that these things might be linked

“We need a solution we need action please”
Said a lady who’d come from the sinking Maldives

The others all nodded and said it was fact
That the time must be now not to talk but to act

Then Obama arrived and said most rhetorical
“Action is action and not metaphorical”

“Wow” they all thought “he must mean arregorical [sic]”
“I love it when Barack goes all oratorical”

“But the problem I have is that Congress won’t pass it
“Bugger” said Ban Ki then “sorry” then “arse it”

Then Brown said “I’ve got it now how does this strike you?
It’s simpler when voters already dislike you”

He suggested the EU should lead from the front
So The Mail and The Telegraph called him something very unpleasant indeed

So the delegates stared at the text with red marks on
Ignoring the gales of laughter from Clarkson

No-one was satisfied nobody won
Except the morons convinced it was really the sun

And they blew it and wasted the greatest of chances
Instead they all frolicked in diplomat dances

And decided decisively right there and then
That the best way to solve it’s to meet up again

And decide on a future that’s greener and greater
Not with action right now but with something else later

Hat tip The English Blog.