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“If Shell can’t handle a three-foot replica …”

June 7th, 2012 · 1 Comment

If Shell can’t even handle a three-foot replica of a rig that pumps booze, how is the company going to fare in the Arctic deep?

So ends Brian Merchant’s Treehugger discussion of the hilarious events at Shell’s celebratory partying about oil drilling plans in the Arctic Ocean.

As seen starting at 30 seconds into the video below, Shell’s replica oil drilling rig had a spectacular ‘blow out’ that they couldn’t get under control until it had already caused serious damage.
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Unlike an alcohol drenching of a blouse, an oil rig blowout in the Arctic Ocean (think of the benign circumstances of this happening amid a winter storm of 20+ degrees below zero, winds at 40+ miles per hour, and ice floes crashing into the rig) won’t be solved by a simple trip to the dry cleaners.

Historians have a joke about American history. Anything that has already happened is history, anything more than 15 minutes old is ancient history. In this context, with consideration of Shell’s (and too many others’) fossil-foolish plans to drill in the Arctic, how do we classify the now over two year-old Deepwater Horizon events: pre-history?

This is one of those cases where I simply recommend going ‘to the source’:

However,, Grist called Shell:

This smelled kinda like oil-soaked fish to us (and a lot of the internet), so I called Shell, and a spokesperson told me in no uncertain terms “I can confirm that this was not a Shell event.” You may still want to watch the video, but view it as a delightful exercise in alternate-universe fantasy, where bad guys always get their comeuppance and the Yes Men (probably) dole out poetic justice to all.

Gawker has a good discussion with some ‘forensics’.

Tags: oil

1 response so far ↓

  • 1 sailrick // Jun 7, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    Imagine trying to stop an oil gusher, in the Arctic Sea, in winter, dark 24 hours a day, under a frozen sea.
    In one of the most remote places on Earth.